"Do you even know where you’re going?”
It’s a phrase that sounds like something your siblings would say to you back when you were 16 and going on one of your first driving trips sans adults. If you’re old enough to remember driving before map apps, then the comment feels even more realistic.
“Where are you going? “
It’s actually a flexible question that can directly apply to many spheres of your world such as school, job/career, spirituality, and even relationships!
Let’s consider the latter. When was the last time you had the internal conversation about where you were headed relationally speaking? Beyond this upcoming weekend’s events and opportunities?
Most of us just do this “dating/relationship” thing on autopilot. We swipe, we text, we hookup, we sneak out, we repeat. Doesn’t require a lot of deep contemplation to stay on this particular train.
But that pesky question keeps rearing its annoying head….”where are you going?”
“I’m just going with the flow”
“Wherever the app gods send me”
“No where in particular right now…I’m just having fun until I decide to settle down”
Any of these sound familiar? Or do any at least hit somewhere close to the mark? The conversation begs the question, if you don’t have a destination in mind, how will you ever know when you have arrived? How will you know which route to take?
The logic is true for driving, choosing a school, a job/career and yes even marriage.
At DateU, one of our foundational principles for relationships is to “begin with the end in mind.” This simple axiom means, relationally speaking, you need a map or at least an idea of what you want in order to get where you want to go. Specifically, we’re talking about the question;
Do you want to get married someday?
If not, then by all means keep swiping and repeating, we wish you well.
But, if you would like to get married…someday, then it makes perfect sense to start orienting your dating/relationship life in that direction. Because just like driving, you need to have a route that will get you where you want to go.
And no, it doesn’t mean you’re suddenly on a “mate hunt” in every chance encounter, party or club situation. But it does mean that when you do decide to date, you start selecting people who at least have the minimum qualities you are looking for in a spouse. It means that you quit wasting your precious life-moments on people who only want to use you for what they can get without demonstrating any real interest in you or your needs and desires. It means you start to value your future marriage and your future family by making choices today that will guide you in that direction and not away from it.
Where are you going?
Today is a good day to decide and start your journey.
