Master the art
Welcome to Pro tip #2. If you missed our first installment, we recommend you scroll down and catch up before moving on to this post.
Have you ever wondered why some guys seem to be waaaay more successful attracting girls? Have you noticed that some dudes appear to “have all the luck” when it comes to dating or relating to women that everyone else is dreaming about? For the more observant types in our group, have you picked up on the fact that these guys aren’t always to richest, best looking or even the most popular guys? Although they likely have some measure of these stats.
It’s because gentlemen, the more successful of our species have likely taken the time to learn and master the art of romance.
“Oh, you mean being emotional, sharing your feelings and saying “ooey-goey type stuff? I could never do that.”
First of all, never say never.
Secondly, most guys don’t have much of an idea of what romance is let alone how to bring that aspect to their dating/relationship world. Like the response above, there is a lot of mis-information as to what it is or isn’t.
We start with the basics. Men and Women are DIFFERENT! Have we mentioned that before?
Guys know very well what attracts them to a certain female. Most of the time it begins with the visual because we are creatures fueled by testosterone and are stimulated visually. Thankfully, the visual is not all there is, but it’s often the place many guys start and that’s ok.
Ladies on the other hand are impacted as much or more by other qualities. Sure they want a guy who appeals to them physically, but what really sells them on him often is his flair for romance. While every woman is different and her romantic tastes will vary, you can likely group these proclivities into three main categories:
• What a man says. Specifically, how he speaks to a woman. Using words of respect, flattery, kindness, playfulness and humor. These can also be expressed in written form, as most women love personal notes, texts, cards or other written communications. Women want to know you are thinking of them and take the time to consider the relationship. Writing a note or card demonstrates this effort and thought towards them.
• What a man does. Women like men who are going places, literally and figuratively. They are attracted to men with a plan, men of action and adventure. Of course this can take a plethora of forms depending on where you live, but we can safely say, watching you spend time on your phone or playing video games is NOT what the romantic Dr. ordered.
Women love spontaneity and a relationship that includes fresh activities, locations and surprises. Take them places, do different things, learn what they enjoy and find ways to help them experience their favorite things in life. A romantic is much like a concierge at a 5 star hotel, you arrange for amazing events and she just shows up and enjoys them. These excursions don’t have to be expensive or complicated. It’s more about the effort and planning you put in to make a moment feel special.
• What a man gives: Many women are touched emotionally by gifts. There is a reason that flowers and jewelry are cherished by ladies around the world. They connect to the beauty of the bouquet and the brilliance of a diamond, but beyond that, they love the intent of the gift giver. Thankfully for us, all gifts are not expensive, and as a relationship matures, its often the simplest ones that carry the most weight.
The tricky part for most men is learning what type of gift a woman wants. Here is where our friends at the 5 Love languages can help. Dr. Smalley and his team have ingeniously identified 5 basics types of gifts people love and assigned them a “language.” There is a simple test on their website you and your girlfriend can take to help you and her discern each others preferences. Once armed with this critical information, you can be strategic in your choices of gift types moving forward in the relationship. (https://www.5lovelanguages.com/)
Gentlemen, you may not be born a romantic, but you can learn to become one. When will you start?
